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The guy who sings Barry Manilow songs all day—badly. The gal who shares every detail of her weekend for hours at a time. The cubicle neighbor who can’t seem to find the volume knob—on her own big mouth.
They don’t mean to be annoying. In most cases, they don’t even KNOW they are. But the day-in and day-out effect of distractions from clueless coworkers can take a very real toll on your productivity, your concentration, and your state of mind.
What’s the best way to address this kind of workplace water torture? First I’ll tell you what NOT to do. If it’s in the category of cluelessness, don’t bother your manager with it. It needs to be addressed, but this is a do-it-yourselfer, and you should never ask a manager to take care of something you can do yourself.
You can also forget about subtle hinting. If a person is oblivious enough to do these things in the first place, he or she is way too oblivious to catch a subtle hint.
The answer? Be direct. Calm and polite, yes, but crystal clear. Don’t huff and puff and get angry—remember that there’s seldom an intention to annoy. Instead, go to the oblivious offender and follow this formula:
“When you do (the observed behavior), it creates (the problem). I’m asking that you (discontinue behavior). Do I have your commitment?”
For example: If a coworker is always yakking too loudly, say, “When you talk so loudly, it makes it hard for me to concentrate and I’m embarrassed when talking with clients because I can hardly hear them. I ask that you use your ‘inside voice’ and keep it low enough that the rest of us can get our work done productively. Do I have your commitment?”
She probably didn’t even know she was creating a problem, so you may want to acknowledge that.
After your talk, she may forget when trying to tone it down. If she goes back to her “loud norm,” simply bring it up again with a hand signal that reminds her of her commitment.
And ahem…make sure the hand signal could be used in a church! Remember that she almost certainly means no harm, and you don’t want to sow any unnecessary seeds of resentment—you just want a reasonable place to get your work done, and an ongoing feud won’t get you that.
