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Part 1: The Energy Vampire™
“They are Vampires, and their modus operandi is not to steal your blood but rather, your precious energy. Your life-force. Your mojo. To drain you emotionally and psychologically. To frustrate you with their repetitious, self-indulgent, attention-seeking diatribe.”—Craig Harper
She doesn’t wear all black. You can see her reflection in mirrors. She likes garlic just fine. Yet her coworkers know she is a vampire as soon as they open their mouths. But it’s not blood she’s sucking—it’s positive energy.
“I’m up for a promotion,” you say. “Isn’t that great?”
“Hey, a higher cell in the prison. Congrats on that,” she replies with a smirk.
“Sales are going to be up, up, up this year,” you say.
“That’s only because they were in the toilet last year.”
“My glass is half full.”
“You call that a glass?”
You get the idea. And you know this person, I’ll bet. These vampires are as common in the workplace as their bloodsucking cousins are in Anne Rice novels. Within seconds, they can take your great day and make it miserable.
The vampire’s arsenal is limitless, from rolling eyes and crossed arms to smirks, whining, name-calling…you name it. Whatever the form, know that you have the right to protect yourself and to call the vampire out.
If we’re honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we’ve ALL have had our moments like this—times when we can’t think of anything good to say and seem to want to guarantee the same fate for everyone around us. But that doesn’t make it okay.
Next time you find yourself on the sharp end of the Energy Vampire’s smile, your job is to suck away their NEGATIVE energy just as hard. They thrive on commiseration, so deny it! Answer each pronouncement of darkness with something like, “Oh I don’t know about that—I like working here!” Then watch how fast they shrivel up and blow away.
Now if the person is part of your responsibility, you’ll need to get serious about this. It’s up to you to either convert the vampire to a productive human or join the mob with pitchforks and torches and get that person out of the company before their toxic behavior spreads—and you end up with a company full of the walking undead!