Clean that Filter!

“I can.” “I can’t.” “I’m not good enough.” “Good stuff just happens to me.” “I always get sick every winter.”

Explanatory styles. We all have them—the filters through which we run all of life’s events.

And scientists now know that every thought creates a physical response in your body. Just reading the ideas above triggered subtle emotions, which in turn triggered your pancreas and your adrenal glands to get busy secreting hormones. Different areas of your brain surged with increased electrical currents, causing neurochemicals to be released.

As a result of this connection, your mind has a tremendous capacity to change your body and your life. And you can change your mind by changing your chosen understanding of things.

Every person has the ability to reprogram the filters through which they hear things—but first they need to have a clue that what they’re hearing is never exactly what is said. Every thought and image and experience that comes to you is instantly filtered.

A supervisor challenges one of his employees to be more thorough on a project. The employee’s brain, based upon his explanatory style, might hear: “He never likes what I do.” Or “He’s just picky. I’ll ignore this.” Or “He really wants me to win on this project. I think he sees that I’m management material.”

Each individual has a certain “filter twist” through which they run all things. And it’s largely dependent on how they feel about themselves based on the key messages they have received over a lifetime— especially messages about how lovable or unlovable they are.

If an individual grew up with someone telling them they were not OK, then when you give them input, they will most likely hear it as an attack.

NOBODY escapes this little life mess. Our brains, addicted to drama as they are, can hear the most innocent remarks as accusing, complaining, or blaming. We distort it to the point that it feeds the unhappiness we’re addicted to. But YOU, and only you, can kick that addiction by choosing your own explanatory style. There is no longer the need to hear the worst, imagine the worst, and therefore, fulfill the promise of making the worst come to be.

Explore your own programming

For every substantial conversation you have in the course of a given day, write down the exact words the person said. Go back to the person and ask, “What I think you said was xyz. Is that right?”

Then tell them what you thought they meant. Ask if you interpreted correctly or if there was anything that you added that wasn’t there. When they make adjustments, repeat those and ask if you heard them correctly.

Make a log of the findings. You will undoubtedly find a pattern.

For example:

  • You wrongly assumed they didn’t like you.
  • You wrongly assumed they were saying you were doing something wrong.
  • You wrongly assumed that they were trying to say something to hurt you.

Reset your programming so that whenever you hear a request or a thought from another person, you will run it through the best possible filter, the one that says they are on your side and want the best for you.

Life just became infinitely better. You’ll have more success in life and in relationships because your NEW filter said so.

Quick tip

The next time you find your temperature rising after someone makes a statement, take a quick minute to find two other ways to interpret it.

Leave a Reply