It’s become a national sport to go home and complain about the boss or coworkers or the job itself. A lot of times it’s accompanied by a muttered promise: “As soon as I find something else, I am outta here.”
Whenever I hear that, I think, “This person is projecting their own stuff. And if they quit, they’re probably not going to like the next job either. Or the job after that. Or the job after that.” The problem is…everywhere you go…there you are!
If you complain about someone instead of going directly to the person to fix the problem, you’re really hurting two people: The one who has to sit and listen to you, which is never fun, and the person you are talking down, because you are not helping them in any kind of productive way.
So the only person to complain about in this scenario…is you!
Integrity requires that we skip the eye-rolling conversations with teammates or spouses and instead put on our grown-up pants and go authentically to that person, and that person only, to make a specific request to make things better. It may seem like an impossibly scary thing, but if you approach honestly and with care, focused only on resolving the problem instead of casting blame, you’ll be amazed at what is possible.
You’ll also be amazed at how the clouds of negativity disperse from your own dinner table!