Can people change? Really change? Can you change negative behaviors into positive ones? And if you change, can you make the change last?
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Archive for the ‘Personal Transformation’ Category
Make Change Possible
Thursday, May 12th, 2011Overcome Your Programming
Friday, February 11th, 2011“I can.” “I can’t.” “I’m not good enough.” “Good stuff just happens to me.” “I always get sick every winter.”
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Get Inspired for 2011
Thursday, January 6th, 2011The year 2010 has come and gone, and what do you have to show for it? A renewed passion for your job? A workplace free of every dysfunction you can think of? How about a less-stressed, more relaxed, you?
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Having a Hoot is a Bottom Line Issue
Thursday, November 11th, 2010As our economic mess heads into its third year, business has never been more serious. It might seem an odd time to make a case for levity in the workplace. But The Levity Effect authors Scott Christopher and Adrian Gostick are doing exactly that.
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Become Who You Can Be Without Losing Who You ARE
Friday, October 15th, 2010One of my favorite movie lines of all time is from The Greatest Game Ever Played, a golf drama based on the true story of the 1913 US Open. Twenty-year-old Francis Ouimet was challenging his idol, Englishman Harry Vardon, who had won the Open in 1900. When Harry’s wealthy sponsor said Francis could not possibly win because he was not from the upper class and therefore would fold under the pressure, Harry responded, “If Mr. Ouimet wins tomorrow, it’s because he’s the best, because of who he is. Not who his father was, not how much money he’s got—because of WHO HE IS!”
And so it is with business.
It has little to do with the economy, the market, the competition. It has much more to do with self-improvement—with who you have become as a leader and who your team has developed to be.
The great competition isn’t “out there.” The great competition is always between the ears—in the mind and the character of a leader.
Weak leaders don’t understand that, of course, because they are at the mercy of the external.
People forget that this is how it is with everything—we get our results because of who we are. A millionaire can lose all his money and recoup it in weeks because of who he had to become to grow and keep a million in the first place.
Make a list of five commitments for a breakthrough this year. Be specific. Then become the person who could accomplish those five with ease, and they are as good as complete.
I Come First
Wednesday, October 6th, 2010
The new book, I Come First, by M. H. Nicholas is a discussion of human behavior. If we understand this, not only can this offer a platform of understanding, but it can offer a wide range of tools designed to make you more effective in this world. I Come First begins with a fundamental fact of life which is all too often overlooked: We are human and therefore we are imperfect. It takes a different approach than most business books in that it is about perception and survival. In his book, Nicholas provides a blunt, thoughtful, and reasoned version of truths that many people, even well into their careers, wish they had known.
Here is one example:
Get a Life Outside the Office
1. Play keep away when you are not in the office. This draws a firm boundary between your work life and your personal life.
2. Keep your secrets to yourself. Keeping your skeletons in the closet and away from spying eyes.
3. Try not to have emotional reactions at work. If you ever break down, do it in a mindful manner so it limits negative impact.
4. Remember, your most important asset to work is the way in which you are perceived, These tips ensure that this asset is preserved.
The Company You Keep
Thursday, September 9th, 2010
© Andres Rodriguez | Dreamstime.com
Parents are full of advice for their kids. Some of it doesn’t hold up (my face did NOT stay that way, Dad), and some is golden.
A lot of the best advice we give our kids translates just as well into adult life. But too often we fail to apply it to ourselves, as if there’s something magic about the age eighteen that turns golden advice to straw. And that’s too bad.
One of the things I remember Mom drumming into my head is the importance of choosing my friends wisely. Nothing has a greater influence on the person you’ll become, she said. I’m sure I rolled my eyes at the time. But over the years, I’ve come to realize that it’s the single best piece of wisdom she ever gave me.
We’ve all had the experience of reflecting the people around us. If you are surrounded by grousers and whiners, you naturally feel yourself falling into a pattern of grousing and whining, partly because the grousing whiners will reward you for being like them. So how could you not?
On the other hand, when you surround yourself with people who are positive and optimistic and happy to be alive, you can’t help feeling the same.
I have several dear friends now who have that effect on me. When I’m around them, their smiles, their infectious laughs, and their ability to find the joy in life naturally puts me in the same frame of mind. I leave a restaurant or a party with these people and find myself smiling more, opening doors for others, letting people merge on the freeway. The effect is immediate and undeniable.
And it goes well beyond mood. If we want to achieve lasting changes in the way we approach our work and our lives, the very best thing we can do is surround ourselves with people who share those values. Want to be more punctual? Hang out with people who are punctual. Want to see the work you do in terms of service to others instead of a means to support yourself? You know what to do.
Most important of all, you want to choose friends and associates who share the deeper, more fundamental attitudes toward life. Choose to be around people who are enlightened learners, who choose wisdom, who take the high road, who have a heart of kindness, who decide to persevere. Surround yourself with people of strong character because they will hold you to a high standard. Just as the grousing whiners reinforce attitudes and behaviors that are like theirs, so will the decent and wise.
So sure, read all the books you can to improve who you are and how you approach life. But know that the greatest influence of all happens not between the covers of a book, but between people.
Chat with the Experts: Jack Canfield
Saturday, September 4th, 2010
Mark your calendar! Next week on Wednesday, September 8, at 12:00 PM CT, we will be interviewing Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach and co-creator of the bestselling series Chicken Soup for the Soul®. During the interview we will be discussing his book The Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. The Success Principles, co-authored with Janet Switzer, will teach you how to increase your confidence, tackle daily challenges, live with passion and purpose, and realize all your ambitions. Not merely a collection of good ideas, this book spells out the 64 timeless principles used by successful men and women throughout history. And the fundamentals are the same no matter what your profession or circumstances—even if you’re a student, stay-at-home mom or currently unemployed.
This is usually a private teleseminar for The Emmerich Group member clients — we offer these sessions and allow them to invite their prospects and their clients to help them develop business.
Based on the enormous response to our last teleseminars, I knew you would really value another chance to hear from a best-selling author. So, I’m inviting a handful of non-member organizations again.
This is a great opportunity to bring your whole team together for a Lunch ‘n’ Learn or team learning opportunity.
Join us for the call on September 8, 2010 at 12:00 noon CT for one hour to discover:
- How to get from where you are to where you want to be.
- The biggest difference between people who are successful and those who aren’t.
- How to change the outcome of any event, simply by changing your response to it.
- Why you should drop out of the “Ain’t It Awful” Club and instead surround yourself with success, positive and nurturing people.
- How to complete past projects, heal past relationships and process old hurts, so you can embrace the future.
- How to ask for and get everything you want…from people who can give it to you.
- How to deal with fear and uncertainty.
A teleseminar like this usually costs $500-1000 dollars or far more, depending on the size of your company. We are inviting you and your team for FREE as a special gift to prepare you for a better 2010—regardless of the economy.
Registration is easy! To sign up, go to www.ThankGoditsMonday.com/jack-canfield.
Space is filling up quickly so be sure to sign up right away!
Clear your schedule and register TODAY!
Let’s Get It Started!
Friday, August 20th, 2010
© Gino Santa Maria | Dreamstime.com
There’s a song I love to play over the loudspeakers at my public events. The song is “Let’s Get it Started” by the Black-Eyed Peas, and we use it to call everybody back from break, to pump them up and get them ready to GET IT STARTED again!
We could use just about any high-energy song to get people’s attention, but this one has something special, and its right there in the title––Let’s get it started. It doesn’t say, “Let’s hope somebody else gets it started.” It’s about US, you and me, getting started and making things happen.
Maybe you’re playing a waiting game in your company, waiting for management to get the memo and start making a positive culture change happen. You’ve filled out enough suggestion cards to fill the old card catalog at the New York Public Library. Maybe you’ve even dropped a few heavy hints in person. Nothing. Ever. Happens.
Time to stop waiting. It’s time to get it started.
Culture change is first and foremost about a change in attitudes. It’s about making people feel appreciated, giving them a common goal, and helping them to have fun in the process. NONE of these requires a lot of money or time, and best of all, NONE requires the involvement of the head honchos.
Still, you don’t have to do this all alone. Certainly there are two or three other people who would like to see your workplace transformed. Put together an informal group––a “coalition of the willing”––and brainstorm ways to turn the place around. There is nothing more fun than taking the bull by the horns and watching as you turn around not just a workplace, but the lives of the people who spend half of their waking hours IN that workplace.
Here are three ways to get it started:
1. Create your own contest. If you know your company has an objective to sell 750 widgets a month, create a contest. Split your staff into teams. Have them report daily and put points for sales up on a white board. Hoot and holler, give out prizes for individuals and teams. Prizes don’t have to be expensive—people will knock themselves out for a chocolate kiss.
2. Start a low-key campaign against dysfunctional behaviors. Quietly enlist as many co-workers as possible in a pact to not engage in gossip, backstabbing, whining, or nay-saying, and to gently call others on it when they hear it in action.
3. Connect. It’s easy to crawl into our shells, keep our eyes on the floor, and forget that we’re surrounded by actual no-kidding people all day. Make an effort to meet the eyes of your co-workers. Smile and say hello. Ask about the family. This isn’t rocket science––but these simple connections can do more for transforming a workplace culture than the most elaborate system of incentives.
At the end of the first month, pull the team together to take a reading. Odds are very good that you’ll see evidence everywhere that things will never be the same.
The Limits of Compassion (and yes, there are some)
Thursday, July 15th, 2010
© Beatrice Killam | Dreamstime.com
I am human. And I’m willing to bet that four out of five readers of this column are human, too.
As humans, we come equipped with massive contradictions and imperfections. Our emotions battle with our intellect. Our community spirit wrestles with our selfishness. We think thoughts both lofty and low and emit smells both lovely and, uh…not.
But when we come together in the workplace, we’re making a deal with each other to bring our higher, stronger, better selves to the game. It’s not that our weaknesses cease to exist, but they do cease to ride shotgun on our day.
There are days when I’m running on two cylinders or less—not enough sleep, not enough breakfast, too many pressures, bad news, whatever. You have to figure at least one out of every four people around you feels about the same on any given day.
Now suppose we all had permission to give full expression to those feelings—you’d have 25 percent of the people in any given workplace whining, sighing, crying, or screaming their way through the day. The drain on productivity would be impossible. Forget about achieving anything great or being of profound service, even on your own good days.
A little expression of fatigue or frustration once in a while is fine, and we can all be there for each other at those times. But then there are the people who seem to have woven dramatic emotional displays into their job description, day after day after day.
Not okay.
Approach this carefully by all means, but for the sake of everyone’s sanity, DO approach it. Start by expressing genuine concern. Is there something going on in this person’s life that they’d like to talk about? Is there anything you can do to help?
If he or she waves off your attempts to help and continues to be a vortex of negative energy, ramp it up a bit. Ask Human Resources or your immediate manager if anything can be done to assist the person—and drop a mention of how long it has gone on and how difficult it is to work well in the presence of such displays.
If you have offered personal concern AND attempted to get help at a higher level and no improvement is made, it’s time to call in that mutual contract, that unspoken but rock-solid agreement to bring our higher, stronger selves to work. Let the person know gently but firmly that something’s gotta give, that she MUST take advantage of offers of help, that the situation is impacting the work and attitudes of those around her.
If no improvement is forthcoming, it is incumbent on you to return to management with a stronger insistence that something be done.