Archive for the ‘Personal Transformation’ Category

Avoid Artificial Harmony

Monday, June 4th, 2018

 

 

Are you truly authentic? No, seriously? Do you say what is on your mind in a way that advances the situation? Most people either don’t speak up—or when they do, it’s as if a bomb went off because the anger that has built because of their inept skills at authentic communication caused them to be so angry that it destroyed the relationship.

The “good human” hat requires to deal with conflict before the sun goes down. We’ve all heard of the spouse who goes along for years with something that she feels is intolerable but doesn’t say a word until she files for divorce. Or the employee who is unhappy about something but never makes any requests of her teammates and then one day turns in her letter of resignation—just like he did the at the last job, and the one before that, and the one before that.

The reality is that we all should live by the sun down rule—if something doesn’t settle right with you, make a request of someone before sundown. Notice I didn’t say “complain.” I said, make a request. With that radical candid request comes the need to be no accusatory and to realize that you are at cause for the problem as well. It also requires the ability and willingness to truly listen to the other person’s candid authentic opinions as well. There are always two sides of the story and the danger of people in the workplace who don’t deal with conflict before sundown in productive ways is that they breed a culture of inauthenticity. So, go ask for what you want with a commitment to hear the other side of the story and work toward a resolve.

Crazy Busy

Monday, May 28th, 2018

 

 

Ask almost anyone today how they are doing and you will often hear the chant “crazy busy.” It’s as if it is a badge of honor. In reality, crazy is just crazy and busy is just busy. Together, it simply shows the person is out of control and not effective in mastering the few most important things.

In reality, many people take pride in being busy. But you never hear a highly successful person say they are busy—and certainly not crazy busy. Instead, they tell you what they are up to or what they are committed to.

In fact, when you proclaim to the world that you are out of control with the words, “crazy busy,” you are pushing away your chance to be successful and truly achieve.

Busy is a four-letter word. Focus your energies on the few things that matter and master how to do those things faster with fewer and better than ever!

Work is Love Made Visible

Monday, May 21st, 2018

 

 

Kahill Gibran said it best—work is love made visible. I’ve contemplated for many years what he meant by that. I suspect he meant that nobody what you work, if you bring your heart and soul to it and you do it with excellence, you will enjoy your work. If instead, you complain and choose misery, there is no way out.

By stepping up to add great value every day, the world responds back and rewards you with satisfaction for a job well done and the ripple effect impact of your work on the world. If we approach work from a heart space instead of just a “doing” approach, the doing gets far more enjoyable.

Know How to Tie Into Profit

Monday, May 14th, 2018

 

 

“Every generation needs and new revolution,” was Thomas Jefferson’s conclusion toward the end of his life. He was talking about what he believed was an “everybody’s entitlement” which put an ever increasing burden on those who produce.

Well, revolutions are in fact a bit messing and aren’t really the best remedy but the reality is that in organizations, when there are those who are entitled, they consume the salary dollars, bonus pay potential and rob the very souls who those who are all in.

Be that person who steps up to add value by first taking ownership to know what metrics should be hit and what is expected…and then being authentic in your regular reporting to those metrics so you can get coaching if you fall behind and become that “increasing burden on those who produce.”

Thank You For Your Projection

Monday, May 7th, 2018

 

I have a brilliant friend, a retired Episcopal Priest, who is one of the most insightful people I ever talk with. One day, when he was sharing his interpretations of the world in a way of found mesmerizing, I said, “Richard, you are such a brilliant man with such a kind heart.” He responded by saying, “Thank you for your projection.” I say, “HUH????”

He said, “I don’t take compliments seriously—nor do I take criticism seriously because I know it comes from the projection of other people. Karl Jung taught us that we project onto others our disowned parts of ourselves. In otherwords, what we like about others is what we like about ourselves. What we don’t like in others speaks highly of the work we must do on ourselves.”

So, be careful when you said negative things about others—it often reveals more about you than it does about the person.

Speak highly of others and assume the best in them. So when you project, you project the good.