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I had a colleague years ago named Sandra.  Sandra had a very special skill.  It’s one part honesty and three parts courage—and it made her an indispensible part of any meeting.

I remember one meeting where a consultant kept using a word that no one in the room knew.  Not that anyone admitted this, of course.  We all sat there like lumps, all assuming that we were the only ones who didn’t know the word, and all afraid to show it.

“You have to realize that the customer may be coming to your brochure with an entirely different hermeneutic framework.”

“It’s essential to take the hermeneutics of your ad campaign into account.”

What worried me most was that this word “hermeneutic” kept coming up alongside words like “essential” and “crucial.”  But did I raise a hand?  Not on your life.

“Excuse me,” Sandra said at last. “You keep using that word—’hermeneutic.’  I don’t know what that means.”

The reason I know for certain that no one else in the room knew the word either was the sudden, visible relaxation of all shoulders around the table, accompanied with a dozen little sighs of relief.  We were going to learn the meaning after all, thanks to Sandra’s honest courage.

The next time you find yourself in the same situation—not understanding something, and certain that all those around you do—know that the likelihood that others are also sitting in silent incomprehension is somewhere around (hmm, let me do the math here…carry the six…) somewhere around 100 percent.  And if everyone else DOES happen to know what’s going on, know that it is 100 percent permissible to reveal that you don’t know everything because NO ONE DOES.

So do everyone a favor.  Be like Sandra.  Be the one who is honest and courageous enough to ask for clarification.  You’ll be an asset to workplace communication and a hero to your colleagues.

Oh, and hermeneutics?  The consultant said it means “interpretation.”  Why he couldn’t just say “interpretation” in the first place is a topic for another day.

* Transcription

Thank God it’s Monday!™ I recently heard a great analogy at a conference about how to bring great wisdom into our lives. I just have to share it with you. Remember the song: Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream? I’m really glad I didn’t have to sing for you. Now, I KNOW this doesn’t sound like rocket science but actually, it’s better than rocket science. Let’s dissect it.

Row YOUR boat… not somebody else’s. In other words, keep your nose clean out of other people’s business. If you stay solidly focused on YOUR boat, you can achieve greatness with sanity.

Gently down the stream…

It doesn’t say create a battle… It doesn’t say go up the stream… so stop making things so hard. Choose ease and grace.

Merrily… yes, that is a choice. You can encounter mosquitoes to swat, rapids, and all of life’s speed bumps, but YOU get to choose to meet each one MERRILY—but that is a choice and that choice is YOURS. You get to make it and it is a dream, it is your dream. You get to create as much joy, abundance, and love as you want in your dream or as much heart ache, pain, and struggle. Just by changing your attitude, the ride down the stream turns to a beautiful experience.

Enjoy YOUR trip.

Have a great Monday!

Roxanne

Roxanne Emmerich’s Thank God It’s Monday! How to Create a Workplace You and Your Customers Love climbed to #1 on Amazon’s bestseller list and made the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists—all in the first week of its release. Roxanne is renowned for her ability to transform “ho-hum” workplaces into dynamic, results-oriented, “bring-it-on” cultures. If you are not currently receiving the Thank God It’s Monday e-zine and weekly audios, subscribe today at www.ThankGoditsMonday.com.

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Part 3:  The Whiner

Ah, whiners.  Instead of telling you what can be done, whiners spend hours vividly outlining what can’t be done and why. Had whiners ruled the world, we’d still be sitting in our caves, huddled around the fire complaining that we can’t find the remote control.

Whining is an attempt to “one-up” others by dismissing all possibilities before anyone has a chance to make a suggestion. Oddly enough, while a whiner’s statement may sound definite, the bluster is actually born of insecurity. Although they have enough mental sharpness to point out problems, they don’t have enough confidence to work at resolving them.  Many people who grow up to be whiners learned early on in life that they could get more attention and by voicing a complaint than by trying to correct a situation.

There isn’t much room for someone like that in a workplace where team members want to rock or in an office where everyone is willing to carry their weight and then some.

Of course, this is not to say that there will never be any whining again, ever. Sometimes it goes with the human condition.  And if we’re honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we’ve ALL have had our moments of whining.

We all have our occasional pity parties or bouts of attention seeking. Despite our knowing how whining can negatively impact others and render us ineffective, there’s a remote chance we might once again choose to uncork that bottle of whine. We’re only human.

Although the ugly truth is that there’s nothing attractive about whining, there are ways to prevent and avoid the condition in ourselves AND in others.  The key is to name it, to make it public, to give ourselves and others permission to laugh it away.

Forge an agreement in your workplace to drive whining away once and for all by flashing the “W” sign—three fingers extended—whenever anyone starts to whine, moan, or groan.  It’s a humorous, non-threatening reminder to stop whining and start creating a solution.

Whenever someone gets the sign, they must agree to stop IMMEDIATELY.  The usual result is a good-natured laugh.  Make sure you distribute the sign evenly around the office—don’t gang up on a single person—and be sure to handle your own occasional dips into Whine Country with good humor and honesty.

* Transcription

Thank God it’s Monday!™ Let Your Drawbridge Down—You only grow when you accept coaching… and unfortunately, it’s sometimes hard for all of us. It really is. We HATE the thought that we make errors and that we are flawed… but we are flawed and we do make errors so why not accept it. It doesn’t mean we’re bad, wrong, or sick. It means we’re human. We are simply humans trying to find our way to be the people our dogs think we are.

So why not let your drawbridge down. Accept the coaching. Let them in. After receiving the coaching, instead of telling people why they’re wrong, explain that you will take in what they said and consider it and get back to them about the actions you’ll take.

Let it be the magic. Use it as a guide to help you better channel your energy and create better results.

And don’t forget to thank the person coaching you… it is because they care enough to help.

Have a great Monday!

Roxanne

Roxanne Emmerich’s Thank God It’s Monday! How to Create a Workplace You and Your Customers Love climbed to #1 on Amazon’s bestseller list and made the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists—all in the first week of its release. Roxanne is renowned for her ability to transform “ho-hum” workplaces into dynamic, results-oriented, “bring-it-on” cultures. If you are not currently receiving the Thank God It’s Monday e-zine and weekly audios, subscribe today at www.ThankGoditsMonday.com.

Love this audio message? You may also download the MP3 version and PDF transcript below:

Download Instructions: Right-click the download button(s) and
choose ’save link as…’ to save the file to your computer.

Harvey Mackay’s new book, Use Your Head To Get Your Foot In The Door, does interviewing head to toe, but this seven-point checklist will go a long way toward scoring your precious at-bat into a base hit.

1. Do your homework. An interview is an exam. Thoroughly research the firm on the Internet. Use all of your personal contacts to learn about your potential boss and this person’s likes and dislikes.

2. Think timing. Often timing is something beyond your control, but, if you have the chance, influencing two factors can prove powerful advantages. If a company will see a roster of candidates for a particular job, it’s often better to be considered in the middle or toward the tail end of the process. Sure that’s a risk, but companies also usually have a better idea of what they want once they’ve seen several candidates. If you’re on the docket later, they’re also more likely to have a fresher impression at decision time. Another consideration: If you’re definitely a morning or evening person, you may not want to broadcast that fact. That said, you still may want to schedule your meeting for the time of day you really shine.

3.  Check out a company’s reception area and an interviewer’s office. If company softball trophies dominate the lobby . . . or if the exec’s bookshelves are lined with dog-eared copies of the complete works of Peter Drucker, that should tell you something.

4.  When you go to an interview lunch, forget the grub. You’re there to land a meal ticket, not to wolf down a free lunch. Eat a power bar before you go.

5.  Don’t pressure the prospect company for an immediate decision. Showing a sense of urgency never hurts, but an increasing number of job offers hinge on at least two sets of interviews and often more. Think of yourself as a guest in someone’s home. You want your host to eagerly invite you back to continue your conversations.

6.  Anticipate a dialogue. Always come to the interview armed with intelligent questions about the job and the company. Ask the interviewer about their most important experiences at this firm. Not only is this politically smart, you can also learn key cues about the person’s values and motivations. Somewhere in the conversation, there’s bound to be small talk. It’s up to you to make that small talk big by being up to speed on the latest business news, industry trends, and – increasingly – personal technology you need to do your job.

7.  After the interview, do two things immediately: (1) key in or record your debriefing of what you learned in the interview, and how you believe it went well . . . and badly. (2) Then handwrite (and personally deliver to the receptionist) a thank you note for the person who interviewed you and why you are even surer now you are the best person for this job. 

What if you sense the pressure and scrutiny grow in an interview? Take it as a compliment. Always remember, the closer you get, the harder they’ll look.

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Part 2:  The Victim

The second in our three-part series on energy drains in the workplace is the perpetual victim—the person who is always yammering on about the crud hand the world has dealt them.

Their past jobs lost, their failed marriages, their C in Chemistry and their FICO score that looks like a batting average are all on the topic list, and most importantly, all the fault of someone else.

Onlookers have no difficulty in figuring out who really ruined the victim’s life. She did. She did it by not moving on and by choosing to stay miserable.

Victims remain victims because they receive feedback that supports their victimhood.  This support comes from others who are often well-meaning and unconscious of the negative impact.

When perpetual victims complain about how awful their lives are, their supporters support them by buying into it. “Yep,” they’ll say, “Ain’t it just awful.” That’s all the positive reinforcement the victim needs, as off they go seeking the next hit of YPT (You Poor Thing—their drug of choice).

A person who supports a victim in that way is not really a friend but an enabler. Sane and loving people will distance themselves from victims precisely to help them stop being victims.

So what do you do when a victim comes to you and complains yet again about something someone else or some other department did? It’s easy. Place accountability for change back on that person. “Sounds like an opportunity, really. What are YOU going to do to make sure that doesn’t happen again or to make peace with it so you can move on?”

Victims hate that—but it’s the intervention they need. They either have to stop being a victim and draining your energy, or find someone else who is a willing enabler to victimhood. Either way, you win!

Another strategy is to appeal to their inner ego, no matter how deeply buried, to contradict the self-image as a victim. “You’re pretty powerful,” you say, “so I know you don’t view yourself as a victim. I can’t wait to hear what you’re doing to make the situation better!”

The person must either admit to helplessness and weakness or seize on your appraisal of strength.  Ninety-nine out of a hundred will go for the strength.

If you’ve done everything you can to reprogram, empower, and redirect a perpetual victim, the next step is simple avoidance. Steer clear of the person so that you can preserve your own energy.  If they seek you out and begin their monologue, simply raise one hand, silently, and continue on your way.

* Transcription

Thank God it’s Monday!™ Implied Contracts—If someone asks you to do something, if you don’t say “no” or renegotiate, you have an implied contract. In other words, they are assuming they can count on you to deliver to the specifications they requested.

That’s kinda cool. No need for paperwork… just a verbal contract.

So when you get a contract, know that you are responsible to deliver in a “no kidding” kind of way. People who received your implied contract have made other implied contracts so if you don’t deliver, they can’t deliver.

Know that if the request doesn’t have a deadline, you can assume that the deadline is “right now” that’s it… today… right this moment. If you think it might be anything other than that, it is your job to clarify. Nobody likes to hear the words, “nobody TOLD me.” YOU are in charge of your schedule and keeping your implied contracts straight.

So capture them into your time management system with a deadline and deliver on time every time.

People trust people who meet implied contracts and quickly move away from people that will repeatedly let them down. Be the kind of person who lives up to every implied contract.

Have a great Monday!

Roxanne

Roxanne Emmerich’s Thank God It’s Monday! How to Create a Workplace You and Your Customers Love climbed to #1 on Amazon’s bestseller list and made the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists—all in the first week of its release. Roxanne is renowned for her ability to transform “ho-hum” workplaces into dynamic, results-oriented, “bring-it-on” cultures. If you are not currently receiving the Thank God It’s Monday e-zine and weekly audios, subscribe today at www.ThankGoditsMonday.com.

Love this audio message? You may also download the MP3 version and PDF transcript below:

Download Instructions: Right-click the download button(s) and
choose ’save link as…’ to save the file to your computer.

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Part 1:  The Energy Vampire™

“They are Vampires, and their modus operandi is not to steal your blood but rather, your precious energy. Your life-force. Your mojo.  To drain you emotionally and psychologically. To frustrate you with their repetitious, self-indulgent, attention-seeking diatribe.”—Craig Harper

She doesn’t wear all black.  You can see her reflection in mirrors. She likes garlic just fine.  Yet her coworkers know she is a vampire as soon as they open their mouths.  But it’s not blood she’s sucking—it’s positive energy.

“I’m up for a promotion,” you say. “Isn’t that great?”

“Hey, a higher cell in the prison. Congrats on that,” she replies with a smirk.

“Sales are going to be up, up, up this year,” you say.

“That’s only because they were in the toilet last year.”

“My glass is half full.”

“You call that a glass?”

You get the idea.  And you know this person, I’ll bet.  These vampires are as common in the workplace as their bloodsucking cousins are in Anne Rice novels.  Within seconds, they can take your great day and make it miserable.

The vampire’s arsenal is limitless, from rolling eyes and crossed arms to smirks, whining, name-calling…you name it. Whatever the form, know that you have the right to protect yourself and to call the vampire out.

If we’re honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we’ve ALL have had our moments like this—times when we can’t think of anything good to say and seem to want to guarantee the same fate for everyone around us.  But that doesn’t make it okay.

Next time you find yourself on the sharp end of the Energy Vampire’s smile, your job is to suck away their NEGATIVE energy just as hard.  They thrive on commiseration, so deny it!  Answer each pronouncement of darkness with something like, “Oh I don’t know about that—I like working here!”  Then watch how fast they shrivel up and blow away.

Now if the person is part of your responsibility, you’ll need to get serious about this.  It’s up to you to either convert the vampire to a productive human or join the mob with pitchforks and torches and get that person out of the company before their toxic behavior spreads—and you end up with a company full of the walking undead!

* Transcription

Thank God it’s Monday!™ The Project Sandwich—your job is no doubt filled with project requests. The problem is, in the project request sandwich, people often times forget the bread.

Think of it this way. There is the bottom slice, absolutely fundamental to every project. This is the requesting of what are the specifications of the project. How do you know what they are looking for? What’s the outcome? The deadline? What should the check in points be? What are the resources available?

If you don’t ask these questions and go right to the meat of the project, you are going to have a mess and it will take much longer.

For most projects that involve any amount of time, a check in with a “Am I on the right track?” question can save you a ton of wasted time as you flit along down the wrong path.

Then, there’s the top piece of bread and that is essential as well and often missed. This is the part where you bring it to the person who assigned it to you and ask, “I think this is complete. Did this meet the expectations or are their changes to be made before we put this baby to rest?”

Without that step, the project is in no way complete. Know that it is your job to make sure that you never forget the bread or you will exhaust yourself doing unnecessary steps and repeating work.

Make sure your project sandwich tastes good every time.

Have a great Monday!

Roxanne

Roxanne Emmerich’s Thank God It’s Monday! How to Create a Workplace You and Your Customers Love climbed to #1 on Amazon’s bestseller list and made the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists—all in the first week of its release. Roxanne is renowned for her ability to transform “ho-hum” workplaces into dynamic, results-oriented, “bring-it-on” cultures. If you are not currently receiving the Thank God It’s Monday e-zine and weekly audios, subscribe today at www.ThankGoditsMonday.com.

Love this audio message? You may also download the MP3 version and PDF transcript below:

Download Instructions: Right-click the download button(s) and
choose ’save link as…’ to save the file to your computer.

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Of all the transformative tools in all the coffee joints in the world—search ye in vain for anything more effective than The Conversation.

The Conversation is not an hour-long lecture.  It isn’t a debate.  It isn’t complicated to learn or deliver.  In about 15 seconds, The Conversation can take someone with a crummy, destructive workplace attitude and turn them completely around.

Say you’ve got a co-worker who never misses an opportunity to grouse about management, or peers, or underlings, or the furniture, lights, weather, health plan, the pattern in the break room floor tiles…I can see by your expression that you know who I’m talking about.

If I’m right, and you DO know someone like this, a pure vortex of energy-sucking dark matter who seeks only to derail any hope of progress, then it’s time for YOU to engage this person in The Conversation.

Here’s how it goes:

“I’m so excited about where our team is going. And I could be wrong, but my sense is you don’t share that excitement.  That’s okay, because maybe this isn’t your thing.  But if this isn’t your thing, you have to go find your thing!”

That’s it.  That’s the whole thing.  But take a moment to see what’s packed into that tiny paragraph.  You’re excited, and you’ve noticed she isn’t.  You validate that (”That’s okay”), then invite the person to find her bliss—wherever it is!

You don’t need to be the boss or even in the same department with this person to have The Conversation. It is extremely direct yet exceptionally loving because it demonstrates that you care enough to get them to make a choice between bringing their whole heart to their current situation or going to find a new situation that makes them happy.

Delivered well, The Conversation has transformed a lot of people from being miserable blamers to on-fire contributors. And the beauty is that it works in an instant.  Ninety percent of the time, the bad apple person says, in these or other words, “You’re right. I’ve been a jerk”—and then becomes a star performer because the boundless energy they were using to manipulate their coworkers into joining them in their misery is now channeled to productive use.

As for the other ten percent—well, anyone who refuses to respond to an intervention that gentle and reasonable has essentially fired himself.  The pink slip is just a formality.