Posts Tagged ‘Positive Attitude’

The Terrible Trio—Vampires, Victims, and Whiners (oh my!)

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010
© Rinderart | Dreamstime.com

© Rinderart | Dreamstime.com

Part 3:  The Whiner

Ah, whiners.  Instead of telling you what can be done, whiners spend hours vividly outlining what can’t be done and why. Had whiners ruled the world, we’d still be sitting in our caves, huddled around the fire complaining that we can’t find the remote control.

Whining is an attempt to “one-up” others by dismissing all possibilities before anyone has a chance to make a suggestion. Oddly enough, while a whiner’s statement may sound definite, the bluster is actually born of insecurity. Although they have enough mental sharpness to point out problems, they don’t have enough confidence to work at resolving them.  Many people who grow up to be whiners learned early on in life that they could get more attention and by voicing a complaint than by trying to correct a situation.

There isn’t much room for someone like that in a workplace where team members want to rock or in an office where everyone is willing to carry their weight and then some.

Of course, this is not to say that there will never be any whining again, ever. Sometimes it goes with the human condition.  And if we’re honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we’ve ALL have had our moments of whining.

We all have our occasional pity parties or bouts of attention seeking. Despite our knowing how whining can negatively impact others and render us ineffective, there’s a remote chance we might once again choose to uncork that bottle of whine. We’re only human.

Although the ugly truth is that there’s nothing attractive about whining, there are ways to prevent and avoid the condition in ourselves AND in others.  The key is to name it, to make it public, to give ourselves and others permission to laugh it away.

Forge an agreement in your workplace to drive whining away once and for all by flashing the “W” sign—three fingers extended—whenever anyone starts to whine, moan, or groan.  It’s a humorous, non-threatening reminder to stop whining and start creating a solution.

Whenever someone gets the sign, they must agree to stop IMMEDIATELY.  The usual result is a good-natured laugh.  Make sure you distribute the sign evenly around the office—don’t gang up on a single person—and be sure to handle your own occasional dips into Whine Country with good humor and honesty.

 

The Terrible Trio—Vampires, Victims, and Whiners (oh my!)

Friday, February 26th, 2010
© Lisavan | Dreamstime.com

© Lisavan | Dreamstime.com

Part 2:  The Victim

The second in our three-part series on energy drains in the workplace is the perpetual victim—the person who is always yammering on about the crud hand the world has dealt them.

Their past jobs lost, their failed marriages, their C in Chemistry and their FICO score that looks like a batting average are all on the topic list, and most importantly, all the fault of someone else.

Onlookers have no difficulty in figuring out who really ruined the victim’s life. She did. She did it by not moving on and by choosing to stay miserable.

Victims remain victims because they receive feedback that supports their victimhood.  This support comes from others who are often well-meaning and unconscious of the negative impact.

When perpetual victims complain about how awful their lives are, their supporters support them by buying into it. “Yep,” they’ll say, “Ain’t it just awful.” That’s all the positive reinforcement the victim needs, as off they go seeking the next hit of YPT (You Poor Thing—their drug of choice).

A person who supports a victim in that way is not really a friend but an enabler. Sane and loving people will distance themselves from victims precisely to help them stop being victims.

So what do you do when a victim comes to you and complains yet again about something someone else or some other department did? It’s easy. Place accountability for change back on that person. “Sounds like an opportunity, really. What are YOU going to do to make sure that doesn’t happen again or to make peace with it so you can move on?”

Victims hate that—but it’s the intervention they need. They either have to stop being a victim and draining your energy, or find someone else who is a willing enabler to victimhood. Either way, you win!

Another strategy is to appeal to their inner ego, no matter how deeply buried, to contradict the self-image as a victim. “You’re pretty powerful,” you say, “so I know you don’t view yourself as a victim. I can’t wait to hear what you’re doing to make the situation better!”

The person must either admit to helplessness and weakness or seize on your appraisal of strength.  Ninety-nine out of a hundred will go for the strength.

If you’ve done everything you can to reprogram, empower, and redirect a perpetual victim, the next step is simple avoidance. Steer clear of the person so that you can preserve your own energy.  If they seek you out and begin their monologue, simply raise one hand, silently, and continue on your way.

 

The Terrible Trio—Vampires, Victims, and Whiners (oh my!)

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010
© Khz | Dreamstime.com

© Khz | Dreamstime.com

Part 1:  The Energy Vampire™

“They are Vampires, and their modus operandi is not to steal your blood but rather, your precious energy. Your life-force. Your mojo.  To drain you emotionally and psychologically. To frustrate you with their repetitious, self-indulgent, attention-seeking diatribe.”—Craig Harper

She doesn’t wear all black.  You can see her reflection in mirrors. She likes garlic just fine.  Yet her coworkers know she is a vampire as soon as they open their mouths.  But it’s not blood she’s sucking—it’s positive energy.

“I’m up for a promotion,” you say. “Isn’t that great?”

“Hey, a higher cell in the prison. Congrats on that,” she replies with a smirk.

“Sales are going to be up, up, up this year,” you say.

“That’s only because they were in the toilet last year.”

“My glass is half full.”

“You call that a glass?”

You get the idea.  And you know this person, I’ll bet.  These vampires are as common in the workplace as their bloodsucking cousins are in Anne Rice novels.  Within seconds, they can take your great day and make it miserable.

The vampire’s arsenal is limitless, from rolling eyes and crossed arms to smirks, whining, name-calling…you name it. Whatever the form, know that you have the right to protect yourself and to call the vampire out.

If we’re honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we’ve ALL have had our moments like this—times when we can’t think of anything good to say and seem to want to guarantee the same fate for everyone around us.  But that doesn’t make it okay.

Next time you find yourself on the sharp end of the Energy Vampire’s smile, your job is to suck away their NEGATIVE energy just as hard.  They thrive on commiseration, so deny it!  Answer each pronouncement of darkness with something like, “Oh I don’t know about that—I like working here!”  Then watch how fast they shrivel up and blow away.

Now if the person is part of your responsibility, you’ll need to get serious about this.  It’s up to you to either convert the vampire to a productive human or join the mob with pitchforks and torches and get that person out of the company before their toxic behavior spreads—and you end up with a company full of the walking undead!

 

Unflippin’ Stoppable

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

He knew his whole life what he wanted to do. He wanted to act in movies. He saw movies as a vehicle not only to escape reality, but also as a way to inspire people to overcome their personal obstacles.

He constantly visited with movie agents. If he had 700 meetings with them, he was thrown out 700 times. He was told by some that he looked stupid. Others didn’t even bother to tell him anything.

Most people with his dream would have quit.

Once, though, after one more rejection, he stayed overnight at the site and, because of his insistence (he tried again in the morning), he eventually received his first offer.

He was cast as a thug. His job was to get beat up. He was only on camera for 20 seconds. Not exactly a breakthrough. But at least it was something.

He imagined it might be the beginning of a wonderful acting career. But it wasn’t. His rejections continued.

He couldn’t pay for heat in his apartment. His wife screamed at him to get a job. He didn’t listen.

One day he went to the public library because it was warm. There, in the reading room, he read the work of Edgar Allen Poe.

He said, “Poe got me out of myself. I learned how I could touch other people and help others.”

He decided to write a script.

He sold a script called Paradise Alley for $100. For him, it was a ton of money for him. But that, too, didn’t lead to anything.

By then, he was so broke he hocked his wife’s jewelry. After that, she really hated him. But his dog still loved him.  He loved his dog, but he couldn’t feed him.

He stood outside a liquor store trying to sell his dog for $50. He ended up selling it for $25. He cried as he took the money.

Two weeks later he was watching a fight and got an idea. He wrote for 20 straight hours. He was shaking at the end because he was so excited.

He tried to sell his new script. He received rejections. People said, it’s predictable. It’s sappy. It’s a cliché, man.

He wrote down all the things they said and decided he would read them the night of the Academy Awards when he won an Oscar. 

Still nobody would buy his script.

Finally, he met some people who actually liked his script. They offered him $125,000. A jackpot for a guy with no money at all. He agreed to the deal – but with one provision. He said, “Just one thing, I have to star in it.”

They said, “You’re a writer.” But he knew he wanted to play a staring role in his own money.

The producers didn’t like the idea. They wanted Ryan O’Neal.

The scriptwriter left with no money and no deal.

The producers came back with a counteroff. They offered the man $250,000 if he agreed not to star in his own money. Again, he answered, “No.”

Then they offered $325,000 as long as he would stay out of camera range.

“No.”

They compromised. They were afraid to take the risk. They didn’t think it would work with him in the starring role, but they loved the script. So they paid him only $35,000, but at least he was allowed to play the lead role.

For two days, he went back to the liquor store hoping to find the guy who bought his dog.

On the third day, a guy walked by with his dog. He offered to buy him back because he missed his dog so much. The guy told him there was no way he would sell the dog.

The man offered more money. After some negotiations, they had a deal. Sylvester Stallone bought his dog back for $15,000.

True story. The movie Rocky cost $1 million to make. After it opened in 1976, Rocky made more than $100 million

The movie earned 10 Academy Award nominations and won three.

P.S. The dog in the movie is actually Sly’s real dog.

Difficulties seldom defeat people; lack of faith in themself usually does it for them.

Most people are taken out of life’s game by the little things. What ever is inconvenient or uncomfortable is accepted as a reason to give up.

Are you willing to be unstoppable in your attempts to get what you want? Do you stand by your principles so much so that you are willing to take huge risks for what you know is right?

Try this:

• Write down something that you want to commit yourself to accomplish.

• Make an oath to yourself that nothing and nobody can get in the way of achieving what you want. (Even if you never get it, you will live with such power that the other blessings that come as a result will be powerful, too.)

• Make a list of the things that, in the past, haven taken you “out of the game.” Each one of us has patterns that we repeat about why we give up. Whether it’s not enough time, questioning whether you really want it, or it’s just too hard, chances are that your life has consisted of a repeated pattern of the same trigger switch that takes you out of the game. Decide to conquer that pattern. That and only that is the way you are gonna fly now.

 

Top 10 Workplace Dysfunctions—and How to TERMINATE Them

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010
Creatista | Dreamstime.com

Creatista | Dreamstime.com

The dysfunctional workplace is a killer.  Untreated, the dysfunction will kill off your customer base, your profits, and your joy for living as surely as anything.

So you’ve got to kill it first.  Here are the Top Ten dysfunctions—and the cure for each:

No. 1:  People being at odds with each other with no desire to fix it.
Have the most direct supervisor meet with those involved to learn what it will take to resolve it and to secure a firm commitment to do so.  Spell out immediate consequences in the event of failure.

No. 2:  Saying one thing and meaning another.
If you have an employee with a pattern of saying, “But what I meant was…”, call them on it.  Requiring the offender to have all communications checked for clarity for a period of time usually nips this in the bud.

No. 3:  Giving lip service to new ideas, then undercutting them in private.
You’ll want to enlist everyone’s help in keeping this one out.  Make it clear that dissenting opinions are welcomed during decisionmaking, but that once a decision is made, undercutting will not be tolerated.

No. 4:  Defensiveness at reasonable suggestions.
Let your people know that you consider a willingness to improve to be one of the hallmarks of a person with a bright future in the company.  Defensiveness should be viewed as what it is—an unwillingness to improve one’s self.

No. 5:  Attraction to chaos.
Pot stirring is a violation of principles both written and unwritten and a threat to productivity.  Counterbalance the pleasure they get from drama with a greater measure of negative consequences.

No. 6:  Not following through on commitments.
Let people know that they are expected to acknowledge errors and make a commitment to clean up every last bit of the resulting mess.

No. 7:  Deflecting blame.
Deflecting blame equals deflecting responsibility.  Make it clear that the only acceptable behavior is acceptance of responsibility and (as above) quick work to clean up the mess.

No. 8:  People pretending like they “never got the memo.”
If there was no breakdown in the actual system, make it clear that the employee is responsible for consistently accessing internal communications—memos, email, and so on—so that he is never again “out of the loop.”

No. 9:  Refusing to deal with conflict directly.
Conflict resolution is an essential part of a manager’s job.  Performance reviews can and should count disruptive interpersonal conflicts against managers on whose watch they occur.

No. 10.  Gossiping and backstabbing.
Once you establish a zero-tolerance policy for talking behind another person’s back, give your people permission to address conflict head-on, out loud, courageously and honestly. And make it clear that giving or receiving gossip is not acceptable.

You may have noticed a refrain coming back again and again in this advice:  Make it clear.  Once you’ve made the determination to purge your workplace of dysfunctional behavior, your greatest ally and most powerful tool will be clarity.

 

How You Do Anything is How You Do Everything

Monday, February 1st, 2010

* Transcription

Thank God it’s Monday!™ Have you ever noticed that people are consistent? People who are late to work are late for projects. People who hate their boss leave to hate the next boss. People who can’t get along with coworkers can’t get along with their spouses and kids. People who leave right before being fired due to performance problems jump into the next job, only to be found out again in about the same amount of time.

Now, we ALL have some of these issues and they’re in all of us. We have to swallow the honesty pill.

And yet, if we simply understand that we are humans with patterns, we can finally begin to break the patterns. Awareness is the first step to recovery. Let me repeat that. Awareness is the first step to recovery.

So, first of all, stop right there. Don’t spend your time identifying your coworker’s patterns. Instead, take a look in the mirror and perhaps even put it under the microscope. Then, forgive yourself everything so you can move beyond the guilt.

And then commit. I mean really commit. And, if your break a commitment, realize you need to get right back on the commitment because it still is YOUR commitment.

Break those patterns and enjoy the fruits of your powerful breakthrough because how you do anything is how you do everything.

Have a great Monday!

Roxanne

Roxanne Emmerich’s Thank God It’s Monday! How to Create a Workplace You and Your Customers Love climbed to #1 on Amazon’s bestseller list and made the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists—all in the first week of its release. Roxanne is renowned for her ability to transform “ho-hum” workplaces into dynamic, results-oriented, “bring-it-on” cultures. If you are not currently receiving the Thank God It’s Monday e-zine and weekly audios, subscribe today at www.ThankGoditsMonday.com.

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Fresh Starts

Monday, January 25th, 2010

* Transcription

Thank God it’s Monday!™ Fresh Starts—aren’t they great? People knock themselves out making New Year’s resolutions, only to let them fall flat within weeks. And then unfortunately that person feels even worse. Of course I’m sure that NEVER happened to you, right?

The problem is that it doesn’t work. It’s not ABOUT New Year’s resolutions; it’s about understanding
a constant commitment to excellence and the behaviors.

Think of it this way. People go on a diet. They drink that darn carrot juice for weeks only to discover that it’s Martha’s birthday and the cupcakes have arrived. Fabulous—an excuse to not have carrot juice!

And then the guilt and shame washes over that person and she feels like she failed at yet another diet, I think the 14th that year in fact.

The problem was, it was the wrong mindset.

It’s about understanding the nature of true commitments. IF we fall off the wagon on a commitment,
that’s not great, BUT it’s still our commitment so we need to get right back going again. It’s not a reason to stop.

If every human understood that we’d all be healthy, slim, and prosperous. It’s about never letting
a setback be a reason to stop.

Have a great Monday!

Roxanne

Roxanne Emmerich’s Thank God It’s Monday! How to Create a Workplace You and Your Customers Love climbed to #1 on Amazon’s bestseller list and made the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists—all in the first week of its release. Roxanne is renowned for her ability to transform “ho-hum” workplaces into dynamic, results-oriented, “bring-it-on” cultures. If you are not currently receiving the Thank God It’s Monday e-zine and weekly audios, subscribe today at www.ThankGoditsMonday.com.

Love this audio message? You may also download the MP3 version and PDF transcript below:



Download Instructions: Right-click the download button(s) and
choose ’save link as…’ to save the file to your computer.

 

Seven Secrets of a “Thank God It’s Monday” Workplace

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010
© Vgstudio | Dreamstime.com

© Vgstudio | Dreamstime.com

What accounts for the difference between “Oh crap, it’s Monday” and “Thank God it’s Monday”?  It all boils down to seven habits that can change everything about the culture of your workplace:

1. Show up fully and commit with all your heart
At work, we think of home.  At home, we think of work.  Time to stop that.  The first step toward a TGIM workplace is being present and accounted for at work.  Thinking about being elsewhere leads to resenting where you are. 

While you are at work, commit to work with all your heart.  This is what I call throwing your heart over the bar—committing 100 percent to the moment and task before you.
 
2. Communicate clearly
Use powerful and positive language about what you will do and the attitude you expect from others.  If a TGIM workplace is your goal, take the time to make your communications clear on every level.

3. Go beyond the job description
Going beyond the job description happens when you pitch in and help others at work without expecting reward. Willingly share the load. If you’re caught up on your tasks, help someone else who is crunching for a deadline.  Instead of an extra burden, you actually feel more a part of things than ever.

4. Don’t tolerate dysfunctional behaviors
Establish a zero-tolerance policy for talking behind another person’s back, then give each other permission to address conflict head-on, out loud, courageously and honestly. Create a trusting and open environment and watch the dysfunction ebb away.

5. Clean up your messes
Relationships are built on trust. Without that foundation, there is no basis for a relationship.  We breach the trust each time we don’t do what we said we would do.  But here’s the thing—that breach can be healed quickly IF you come back and clean up the mess.  Acknowledge that the results are not okay, then make a commitment to put things right and prevent a recurrence.

6. Live a life of profound service
Once you place yourself in the service of those around you—your family, your colleagues, your customers—every moment becomes imbued with purpose and significance, and you feel GOOD. 
As you drive to work, begin thinking about how the work you do is serving others, contributing to their success and happiness.  This is the essence of true service, and the key to a workplace that draws you happily back, Monday after Monday after Monday.

7.  Celebrate
Every project consists of little steps, little victories along the way.  Recognize and celebrate them in ways large and small.  Build a system of celebrations and rewards—quarterly, weekly, daily—and follow through like your company’s life depends on it.  Because (psst) it does.

Acquire these seven habits and spread them through your workplace, then be sure to notice the first Monday your hand reaches for the alarm—and you smile.

 

Getting Back that First-Day Feeling

Friday, January 15th, 2010
© Sodimages | Dreamstime.com

© Sodimages | Dreamstime.com

Remember your very first day on the job?  Your shoes had a shine like the tiles on the Space Shuttle and the crease in your slacks could have diced celery.  The air was somehow fresher, the birds chirpier.  You had been hired.  You’d been given a chance to excel, a chance to make a difference.

Now contrast that with this morning.

Most people who signed up for the Big Game end up making one compromise after another until they’ve resigned themselves to mediocrity.  It’s darned hard to keep that first-day buzz going. 

BUT…there’s no reason you can’t choose to recover a good measure of that first-day feeling, that striving for excellence, and put it to good use in the service of everyone whose lives you touch on a daily basis.

It’s all about making the choice to do it.

Have you ever met a two-year-old who wasn’t enthusiastic?  We come prepackaged with it.  And then…

What happens to us?

What happens is that we make a choice.  Some of us choose to make the effort to stay in touch with our inner enthusiasm.  Others find reasons to lose touch with it—boredom, responsibilities, challenges, fatigue.

But here’s the problem:  Enthusiasm is the lifeblood of all success.  Without it, nothing great happens.  If you choose to lose touch with your inner enthusiasm, you are choosing mediocrity.  It’s really that simple.

Sure, there are plenty of reasons to curb your enthusiasm.  But there are just as many reasons to find it again—to celebrate your incredible good fortune, and in the process, to make that fortune even better.

Start with the fact that you’re not dead yet, that you were born at all, that you have a job, and that compared to a lot of folks, you have a pretty darn good job.

Now take a close look at the circumstances of this good job you have.  Write down your five biggest complaints and spin them into positives.  For example, “My boss micromanages me” can be reframed as “My boss cares enough about me to step into my work when I need help.”
If you’ve truly committed to finding your first-day buzz again, you should be an awful lot closer to it now than you were ten minutes ago. 

All this rethinking and reframing has removed a HUGE energy drain from your life—one you were probably unaware of.  It takes massive amounts of energy to continually reinforce your own sense of victimhood.  Excellence is MUCH less expensive.  Now that you feel lucky instead, what on Earth are you going to do with all that energy?

How about playing the Big Game you signed up for?

What you’ve just filled yourself up with is a lion’s share of this precious thing called the human spirit, and the human spirit will not invest in mediocrity.  So play the meaningful, bighearted game you always dreamed of playing, and leave the mediocrity to others.

 

Dealing with the Low Performer

Friday, December 4th, 2009
© Elenathewise | Dreamstime.com

© Elenathewise | Dreamstime.com

No doubt the phrase “low performer” brought someone bubbling up from your past.  Right?  Let’s call him Frank.  Maybe you were a youngster, learning the business, working your way up the best you could—and there was Frank, working as hard as he could to avoid working as hard as he could.

He knew all the shortcuts, Frank did.  He was the one pulling his coat on at 4:56 one day and 4:55 the next, putting in the absolute minimum effort required to get by, watching the clock and complaining endlessly about…well, everything.

What about the Franks hiding out in your organization today—low performers sucking the energy (I call these energy vampires) and profitability out of your company?

Not everyone can be a star, you might say.  True enough.  But did you know that low performers are the #1 cause of the downfall of unsuccessful CEOs, and that leaders who keep and coddle low performers are 13 times more likely to be fired than those who address the problem?

Low performers drain resources, create additional work for the high performers, and poison the culture.  Worst of all, they send the message that low performance is an acceptable path through your organization.

It isn’t.  If success is really important to you, it CAN’T be.  So let’s assume you agree.  How can you take the low performers by the horns?

1.  Confront the problem directly and immediately.  Don’t suggest, don’t imply, and don’t delay.  Once you have solid evidence of a habitual low performer, schedule an immediate meeting.

2.  Be specific and clear.  Tell the person (1) what you have observed, (2) that it is unacceptable, (3) what you expect in its place, and (4) what consequences will follow if corrections are not made.

3.  Make expectations crystal clear.  It’s easiest to hold someone to a standard that has been clearly spelled out, both verbally and in writing.

4.  Base your comments on measurable things.  Vague criticisms about “not pitching in” or “dragging your heels” are too easily deflected.  “You are expected to produce X leads per quarter and you produced less than half that amount for two quarters running”—hard to wiggle out of that one.

5.  Follow through.  If the person’s performance turns around, a word of appreciation can go a long way to keeping it on track.  But if there’s little or no improvement, you MUST follow through on the consequences you promised. 

Remember that there’s always an audience for these things—other low performers testing your resolve, and high performers silently cheering you on.  Consistency is crucial.  Ramp up the consequences for the next infraction, and follow through again.  You’ll not only correct the behavior of one person, but establish a “no excuses” culture that benefits everyone.

And when its time to terminate the low performer, make sure your ducks are in a row, then PULL THAT SWITCH.  It’s never easy, but knowing when to say ENOUGH is one of the marks of a genuine leader.