The Apologizing Liar

David Horsager, author of The Trust Edge, makes a powerful case against the apology. Well, that’s not exactly right. He makes a case against apologies that are really just lies, which is most of them.

When someone drops the ball and says, “Sorry about that!”, it’s usually just something to say. Most of the time it doesn’t literally mean, “I regret that I did that, and I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.” It’s just the thing people say to get past an awkward moment.

If we accept that response in ourselves or in others, we normalize the lying apology. We get stuck in weak results, lose trust, and reduce our chance of a real breakthrough.

So the next time someone apologizes to you, go one step further to ask if their apology includes a massive commitment to fix the problem and avoid a recurrence. And if you’re the one apologizing, snap out of the automatic response. Make sure your apology has substance and meaning, and a massive corrective action plan to back it up.

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