Got a gripe? Stand in line. Lots of people can point out a lot of things that are wrong, and it doesn’t do anybody any good. Instead, when you have a gripe, only go to the person who can do something about it.
If instead you take that gripe to someone who can’t do something about it and say, “see Tom, he doesn’t do this thing,” and roll your eyes, you are now a big part of the problem. Because now, people don’t feel like they can trust you to handle things with authenticity, kindness, or compassion.
Next time you see somebody who is missing the mark, go to that person directly and ask for what you need. Or, if you can’t get it from them, go to somebody who can coach them. But never go to another person because that’s gossip, and gossip is hurtful.
Now, if you’re thinking, “but Roxanne, I just needed to vent.” Let me assure you, venting is gossip. It only hurts other people, and people look at you differently because they now wonder what you’ll say when they turn their backs.
From now on, make a commitment to only directly ask from people what you need. If it’s a negative, ask directly or go higher up in the organization, but never go to another person. Then, people will see you as a person of great integrity.