Stop blaming “bad bosses.” Start becoming the person who gets buy-in.
In this video, Roxanne reveals a counterintuitive truth: most managers aren’t villains—they’re humans doing their best without perfect information. Waiting for a “poof” moment of enlightened leadership keeps teams stuck. Influence moves things forward.
You’ll discover how to:
–Ask for what you need—clearly and respectfully. Influence starts when you make the right request to the right person at the right time.
–Coach up with specifics. Small, observable behaviors (like a 30-second hello at the teller line) compound into cultural change.
–Be the guide, not the critic. Adults complain; leaders convert friction into direction and results.
Instead of quitting or stewing, choose a higher game: manage up, model the culture, and make it easy for your boss to say “yes.” The marketplace rewards people who create alignment without drama—and your career will, too.
Ready to shift from passive frustration to decisive influence? Decide to make your boss the best boss you’ve ever had—because you make that happen.
Watch now.
If you aspire to become a boss someday, let me share with you how it goes.
One day somebody gives you the promotion.
People will start to call you “boss,” and—poof—you become enlightened.
You know everything.
You never make mistakes.
You’re all-knowing about how to handle people. Yeah, not on planet Earth. The reality is that managers are just humans trying to figure it out. So why are we always beating them up for not doing what a perfect boss would do? We have to discover to manage our bosses because sometimes they’re just gonna do things that are inappropriate. Sometimes they’ll say things that could have been smoother.
Sometimes they’re not gonna give us the guidance, and sometimes they’re not gonna be bought into what they need to be bought into to create a better organization. So what do you do? Do you quit? Well, if you quit, let me guarantee you you’re gonna have the same boss at the next place.
Everywhere you go, there you are, because you haven’t discovered to manage your boss. So here’s the thing with bosses. You have to discover to be able to walk in and ask for what you need. I got a lesson years ago from little Annie Kellaway, who I had hired to be the marketing manager at our bank.
And as I hired her, I was so impressed with her. She was only about this tall, and she was feisty, and she was bright, and she was just good people. And one day I saw her walking across the lobby on the way to the owner of the holding company’s office, then thinking, she’s only been here three weeks, and she’s, like, already barging into the owner of the holding company’s office.
Who told her she could do that? I hope she doesn’t get in trouble. Well, about five minutes go by. She comes back.
She goes back in her office. And at the end of the day, I am curious—like, what did she go in there to talk to him about? So she came over to my office, as she always did, and I said, “So what were you talking to Duane about?”
And she said, “Oh, I told them that we’re teaching the tellers that they need to enthusiastically greet people and show that they care. And because he’s an introvert, he always just walks in every day, and he goes right to his desk, and he never really says hello to anybody. I asked him, could he stop over by the teller station, like, twice a week for, like, thirty seconds and just say hi and, you know, get to know some other people’s kids—some of your folks’ kids’ names—and just kinda, like, connect with them.”
And I said, “Well, what did Duane say?” And she said, “He said he’d be delighted.”
And that’s the day I got a lesson.
Oh, I don’t need to be a victim when a manager doesn’t do what a manager needs to do. I need to go ask for what I need. See, there’s that adulting thing again. We have to discover how to ask for what we need as opposed to that unattractive thing in adults that we do, which is complaining when they don’t get what we need, because your manager didn’t have a “poof” experience, and so they’re just trying to do the best job that they can, and they need you to help guide them.
And I assure you, if you’re a good guide, the world will notice you and will serve you well as you’re helping other people. But in the meantime, you will have a much more joyful life as well. So get on it. Go ask for what you need.
Decide to make your boss the best boss you ever had—because you make that happen.