Thank God It's Monday®! Blog

Maya Angelou said: “They will never remember what you told them or what you did. But they will always remember how you made them feel.”

Every moment, we have a chance to have encounters with our clients, with our co-workers, with their children in a way that makes them feel better about themselves.

How we feel about ourselves impacts how we make others feel about themselves.

How we bring joy into the room matters because we’re either breathing life into life or sucking it out. We are never a neutral event.

We have a choice. We can make sure other people feel better because we choose to bring joy to the conversation, talking about possibilities as opposed to what’s wrong, moving things through quickly, and celebrating the successes along the way.

Listen, it’s easy to find things that are wrong. I’m very capable of doing it.

I am not talking from the mountain here as someone who is capable of always being in this place, but I do know that my life goes better and that I make other people’s lives better when I sincerely make an attempt to breathe life into life, to bring joy in my heart, and to make sure that I’m thinking about bringing joy into their heart at the same time.

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A few years ago, I was meeting with a buddy of mine. We were serving on a board of directors together, and he was a really impressive guy. I remember thinking, Richard’s got it all together—he’s bright, funny, and just an all-around great guy.

So, I told him, “Richard, you’ve really got it going on. You’re smart, funny, and a genuinely good person.”

He looked at me and said, “Thank you for your projection.”

I paused. “Wait… what?”

He repeated, “Thank you for your projection.”

Still confused, I asked, “What do you mean by that?”

Then he explained: “I don’t take compliments too seriously because people tend to project the things they like about themselves onto others. And I also don’t take it too seriously when people project things they dislike about me because, again, that’s usually just a reflection of something within themselves.”

That really got me thinking.

Carl Jung talked about this—how we project onto others the parts of ourselves we haven’t fully owned. But if you want a more accessible way to understand it, there’s a book called The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Deborah Ford.

Her message is simple but powerful:

• Find all the things you admire in others—and recognize that those qualities exist in you too.
• Find all the things that drive you crazy about other people—and realize that you’re projecting something unresolved within yourself onto them.

I promise, if you read this book, you’ll experience a massive mindset shift. But fair warning—it won’t be comfortable.

Ford challenges us to look past our defense mechanisms, the ones that immediately say, “Oh, I’m not like that.” Instead, she asks us to flip it and say, “Where am I like that?”

And that’s where things get real.

If someone’s arrogance really irritates you, ask yourself: Where am I arrogant? When do I do that?
If dishonesty in others frustrates you, ask: When have I been dishonest?

The truth is, we all have bits and pieces of these traits within us. But instead of owning them, we often make it about other people.

Now, if you want to create a great workplace—or just live a great life—you have to be willing to look at yourself first. What are the dark parts within you that you’ve been projecting onto others?

And here’s the easiest way to figure that out: What absolutely drives you crazy about someone else? Because that’s your clue. That’s the exact place where you have some shadow-side projection—where you haven’t fully owned that part of yourself.

So, the real work begins when you acknowledge it. Okay, how do I do that? When do I show up that way? Then, you work on reducing that trait within yourself—not just because it’s unattractive in an adult, but because it’s something you no longer want to carry.

And here’s a crucial part of the process: Forgive yourself.

You’re never going to be perfect. You’ll always have some level of projection going on. But the goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress.

Because when we stop projecting our own disowned parts onto others, something amazing happens: we create an environment where people feel safe to be fully human.

And that changes everything—how we work through conflict, how we connect, how we grow.

So, start doing your own inner work, and I guarantee you, other people will magically start showing up as better versions of themselves. Funny how that works, isn’t it?

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Every so often, you come across a book that’s so amazing that you set it aside for years—and that’s exactly how I felt about The War of Art. I remember thinking, “Wow, this is an incredible book,” when I first read it.

On page seventy-three, the author dives into the idea of “for love of the game” to clarify what professionalism really means. Essentially, even though a professional earns money, they do their work out of love. And honestly, if you didn’t love what you do, you wouldn’t choose to devote your life to it freely.

There’s a deeper insight here: you only truly love your work when you’re good at it. It’s when you decide to be selfless and give your all to others that real passion emerges. I’ve yet to meet anyone who says,
“I love my job,” if they aren’t excelling at it and aren’t wholeheartedly committed to making a difference for the person right in front of them.

So, if you feel like you haven’t found that perfect job yet, let me assure you—as you move from one opportunity to the next, you’ll keep searching for a role that you love. Because loving your job means bringing your whole self to it, learning every aspect of it, becoming a master, and making a real difference in people’s lives. Trust me, if you embrace that challenge, you’ll never look back—you’ll end up loving your life.

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Let’s talk about the language of accountability.

When we ask people to be accountable, we need to be crystal clear about what we expect from them—and that we actually expect it to be done. No wiggle room, no ambiguity.

Most people feel drained at the end of their workday, and a big reason for that is they’re constantly wondering: Can I trust John to do what John is supposed to do? Will Julie follow through? Is Tim going to drop the ball? When you don’t have that clarity, you go home exhausted. But if you know exactly how to approach John, Tim, and Julie—if you can go to each of them and say:

“John, by Tuesday at 2:00 PM, I need this report turned in. It should have these three columns, laid out this way, and the outcome should be XYZ. You’ll bring me a first draft on Monday so I can make sure it’s on the right track, and we’ll finalize it by 2:00 PM Tuesday. Is that clear? Is there any reason you wouldn’t be able to meet that commitment?”

If John says no? Great. I’m going to hold you to that commitment.

Now, Julie—same thing. See how that works?

Notice how speaking with authority doesn’t mean you have to outrank someone. You could be talking to your manager or even the CEO. It’s not about position—it’s about confidence. When people hear that kind of direct clarity, they respect it. They recognize, This person gets things done. They expect results. I don’t want to be the one to let them down. And when that mindset becomes the norm across an organization, miracles start happening.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I know there’s no magic pixie dust floating in the air. We’re not living in some fantasy land where everything changes overnight. But just because it’s not happening across your entire organization yet doesn’t mean you can’t be the one to start it.

And when you do? You’re going to feel amazing. You’ll go home at night thinking, What do I do with all this spare time? Because you’ve set clear expectations. You’ve made it obvious what you’re counting on people to deliver. And if they don’t follow through?

You step in. “John, you made a promise. Around here, a promise is the foundation of trust. Without trust, we don’t have a business relationship. You broke that trust. So tell me—what are you going to do to rebuild it? Because we can’t keep doing this. You get that, right?”

See, when you address issues head-on, you might actually be saving John’s job. Because if he doesn’t figure it out, he’ll eventually find out he doesn’t belong here—likely when he’s packing up his desk.

The truth is, we have an ethical obligation to hold our team members accountable for results. And the reason so many people avoid doing that? They don’t want to be held accountable themselves.

But here’s the thing—if you don’t want to be held accountable, someone will let you fail too. So now’s the time. Step up. Hold the people around you accountable, and expect them to do the same for you.

That’s how real change happens. Beautiful.

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