If you’re aiming to become a boss someday, let me tell you how it really works.

One day, someone gives you a promotion. People start calling you “boss,” and suddenly—poof!—you’re enlightened, right? You magically know everything. You never make mistakes. You’re a pro at handling people.

Yeah…not on this planet.

The reality is, managers are just people—humans—trying to figure it all out, just like everyone else. So why do we keep beating them up for not acting like some mythical “perfect boss”?

Here’s the truth: we have to learn how to manage our bosses. Because, let’s face it, sometimes they’re going to do things that aren’t exactly appropriate. Sometimes they’ll say things that could’ve been handled better. Other times, they won’t give us the guidance we need, or they won’t be fully on board with what it takes to improve the organization.

So, what do you do? Quit?

Well, let me tell you something: if you quit, odds are, you’ll have the same issues with your next boss. Everywhere you go, there you are. If you haven’t learned to manage your boss, the cycle just repeats.

Here’s the thing about bosses—you’ve got to learn to walk in and ask for what you need.

Let me share a story. Years ago, I hired this incredible woman, Annie Kellaway, as the marketing manager at our bank. She was tiny, feisty, brilliant, and just a great person.

One day, I saw her walking across the lobby, heading straight for the owner of the holding company’s office. She’d only been with us for three weeks. I remember thinking, Who told her she could do that? I hope she doesn’t get in trouble.

Five minutes later, she walked back to her office like it was no big deal. By the end of the day, curiosity got the best of me. When she stopped by my office (as she often did), I asked, “What were you talking to Duane about?”

She smiled and said, “Oh, I told him we’re teaching the tellers to enthusiastically greet people and show they care. But because he’s an introvert, he usually just walks straight to his desk every day without saying hello to anyone. I asked him if he could stop by the teller station twice a week—just for about 30 seconds—to say hi, get to know people, maybe ask about their kids. You know, connect a little.”

I was stunned. “What did Duane say?” I asked.

She replied, “He said he’d be delighted.”

And that’s when I learned an important lesson.

I don’t have to be a victim when a manager isn’t doing what they should. I can simply ask for what I need.

That’s part of adulting, isn’t it? Learning how to ask for what we need instead of doing that unattractive thing adults sometimes do—complaining when we don’t get what we want.

Your manager didn’t have a magical poof moment where they suddenly became perfect. They’re just doing the best they can, and sometimes, they need you to help guide them.

Here’s the kicker: if you’re good at guiding, people will notice. It’ll serve you well in the long run, but more importantly, you’ll have a much more joyful life.

So, go for it. Ask for what you need. Decide to make your boss the best boss you’ve ever had—because you made it happen.

One thing you can always count on—whether you’ve been in the workplace for one year or twenty—is this: there will always be people who, when things go wrong, resort to whining. But let’s be real—whining doesn’t fix anything. It never has, and it never will. The only thing that moves the needle is using forward-focused language.

Now, let’s have an honest moment. We’ve all done it. Yep, all of us. So, let’s just confess right now and get that out of the way.

When we complain or whine, what we’re really saying is, “I’m a victim. I can’t do anything about this. Somebody else should swoop in and save the day.” It’s like we’re waiting for some magical prince to show up, kiss us awake, and solve all our problems.

Spoiler alert: That only happens in Disney movies. In real life, there’s no Prince Charming coming to rescue us. It’s up to us.

When things go wrong at work—and let’s be honest, they do all the time because, well, it’s work—we have a choice. We can either play the victim and whine, or we can take a deep breath, roll up our sleeves, and think, “This is why they hired me—to figure this out. Let me show them how capable I am.”

And if that doesn’t come naturally to you? Guess what? It doesn’t come naturally to anyone. It’s a learned skill. It’s part of adulting. And adulting is hard. We all have those moments when we slip into that whiny, “poor me” mindset.

But here’s the key: Catch yourself when it happens. Say to yourself, “Hold on. Am I whining right now? This isn’t who I want to be.” Then snap out of it. Give yourself a quick pep talk, ditch the whining, and focus on making something great happen.

Decide that you’re working in a no-whining zone—and that it starts with you.

Do you have a job description? Honestly, you probably don’t need one as much as you think. What you really need is to understand this: your job is to see what isn’t there and make it happen.

Wait, what? What do I mean by that? Let me break it down. Your job is to spot the gaps, the things that aren’t being done, and figure out how to make them happen. It’s about not waiting for someone to explain every little thing to you.

If a client needs something, don’t wait for instructions—figure out how to deliver it. If there’s a new product line we need, don’t wait for someone to create it—figure out how to create it. If a system isn’t working right, don’t wait for a solution—go develop one.

That’s what I mean by seeing what’s missing and making it happen. It’s not just about sticking to your assigned tasks or job description. Sure, you’ve got your responsibilities, and those are important. But the real job is about seeing what needs to be done, before anyone else sees it, and stepping up to make it happen.

Decide to be the person who’s indispensable—someone who understands the big picture, who’s ahead of the game, and always ready to make magic happen. That’s how you stand out.

Happy New Year! How awesome is it that we get a fresh start? A chance to create something new. Maybe last year wasn’t your best year ever, and that’s okay. The great thing about being here on this earth is that we all get to feel that sense of renewal every time a new year comes around.

So, what if this year, we really commit to making it different? This year, we can apply some new disciplines. This year, we can make more miracles happen. This year, we can choose to be happier.
We can choose to be healthier. We can choose to make more friends, be better at what we do, and work towards making this year the absolute best year of our lives.

The key is to decide, right here and right now, that this is going to be your year. But here’s the most important part: forgive yourself for everything that happened in the past. I know, I know—there are a few of you out there who didn’t follow through on all the promises you made last year, and now you’re beating yourself up about it. But listen—guilt and shame? They’re just excuses to repeat the cycle.
You don’t want to stay stuck in that. What you need to do is let go of all that, because no matter what happened, it’s over. Now, it’s time to start fresh.

So, let’s make this the best year yet. Be a contributor in ways you never thought possible—at work, with your family, with your friends. Step up to a life of contribution, and I promise you, this will be your best year ever.

‘Tis the season! So, I want to share something with you today from one of my favorite books,
The Leadership Secrets of Santa Claus. There’s a great lesson in there—one of my personal favorites is tip number ten: be good for goodness’ sake.

Now, think about it. We all know how to be good and we all know how to be bad. We know when we’re being good, and we know when we’re being bad. And here’s the thing—it’s a choice. But sometimes, we act like it’s not. We might tell ourselves, “Oh, it’s okay to be bad because someone hurt my feelings.” But what happens next? We end up hurting someone else’s feelings, and then the whole cycle just spirals out of control.

Santa—he had it figured out. All he did was decide to be good for goodness’ sake. Simple, right?

The same applies to us. Stepping up to be the best version of ourselves, whether at work or in life, is a choice. And the great thing is, we already know how to make that choice.

So, why not step up? Make the decision that this next year, you’re going to be the best person you’ve ever been. Be good for goodness’ sake!