Tired of success? Keen on self-destruction? Looking for a way to run your career off the rails? I’ve got just the ticket. Here are ten sure-fire ways to end any hopes of advancement or future success:
1. Nurture fluffy integrity. Break your promises, gossip, lie, break confidence. Push legal and regulatory boundaries whenever possible.
2. Be passive. Always delegate upward. Refrain from showing initiative. Don’t see what needs to happen to get to the end result, and whatever you do, don’t hold yourself accountable for the results of the team. Favorite excuse: “Nobody told me.”
3. Get yourself a silo mentality. Don’t be a team player. Don’t bother to see how the team integrates with other departmental teams. Keep your cards close to your chest. Has “Every man for himself” embroidered on a pillow.
4. Generate unstable results. Get sloppy, miss numbers, and then sandbag. Make excuses.
5. Be a pain in the butt. Be an arrogant, demeaning, sarcastic know-it-all. Let disrespect be your sword and condescension your quiver!
6. Just don’t get it. No matter how many times something is explained, and no matter how clearly, keep saying, “I don’t get it.” Whatever you do, don’t go look it up on your own time.
7. Be a little Napoleon. Wax autocratic. Be a control freak. Don’t empower others. For good measure, keep one hand inside the front of your coat.
8. Spend all possible time admiring yourself in the mirror. Gawd, you’re fabulous. Put your own needs ahead of team results. You deserve it.
9. Surround yourself with mediocre team players. Keep your team full of “B” and “C”-list players. Never replace with “A”-listers, since they might outshine you.
10. Be a dirty politician. Smile in their faces, then stab them in the back. Word will get out, and you’ll be through.
Any one of the “Dirty 10” can wipe out tremendous results in all areas. So if you’re eagerly courting disaster, cultivate these ten characteristics.
If for some reason you are looking to AVOID disaster, be rigorous about not allowing any of these to creep into your world. Take a hard look at yourself to find out where you need to commit to an immediate and profound change.