Joe
Remember in the middle of the presidential election when Phil Gramm said we’d become a “nation of whiners”? “How could he SAAAYYY such a thing?” people whined.
It may have been an impolitic thing to say, but he was right. You’re a whiner. I can say that, because I’m a whiner too. At certain times and in certain situations here in the sandbox of life, we’re ALL whiners.
But it ain’t good, especially in the workplace.
Instead of telling you what can be done, whiners spend hours vividly outlining what’s wrong, what CAN’T be done and why it can’t, and why you shouldn’t even really bother trying. Had whiners ruled the world, we’d still be sitting in our caves, huddled around the fire complaining that we can’t find the remote control.
I once worked with a woman who specialized in weather complaints. If it was cold outside, she complained that it was cold. When we finally got a warm day, she complained because she couldn’t be outside in it. It once rained for days on end, and on the fifth day she entered the office with a loud, “This rain is completely RIDICULOUS”—as if it were someone’s fault!
Remember Joe Bfstplk, the hangdog guy in the old L’il Abner comics who walked around with a raincloud over his head? I once knew a programmer who reminded me of Joe. Hadn’t had a happy day in ten years at least. His whining specialization was the solution-free complaint.
“Our customers are so dumb,” he once said, “they can’t figure out how to use our systems on their own!”
Well THAT was helpful.
Instead, he could have advanced the situation by saying something like, “We need to do a better job of helping our clients adapt to our systems once we finish our installations. I’d suggest we offer them an online manual.”
But whiners aren’t trying to be helpful, now are they. I know I’m not trying to help when I’m in whining mode. I’m feeling sorry for myself and wanting to drag you all in with me.
Oddly enough, while a whiner’s statement may sound definite, the bluster is actually born of insecurity. While they have enough mental sharpness to point out problems, they don’t have enough confidence to work at resolving them. There isn’t much room for someone like that in a workplace where team members want to ROCK.
I have a favorite method of corking the whine bottle. Ask your family, friends, and coworkers to give you a signal the next time you start to whine, moan, or groan. Ask them to flash a “W” with three fingers as a reminder to stop whining and start creating a solution.
When you get the sign, stop IMMEDIATELY and laugh at yourself for having had a “moment.” Remind yourself how good it feels to figure out what you can and will do about a challenging situation instead of simply letting yourself circle the drain.
Once you create a no whining zone in your workplace, you won’t ever want to go back.
I wear a wrist band that reminds me not to complain. If I complain I change the band from one wrist to the other. My goal is to keep it on the same wrist for 21 days. I have been wearing it for 14 months and have switched it numerous times. I continue to wear it because it is easy to regress back to complaining.